Science has shown that the human body shows signs of having become domesticated. As animals have become domesticated for human consumption so to have humans become more domesticated. This I guess is partly needed due to the size of the human population, yet seems also to do with the elite controlling the masses for their benefits which has been happening for 1000's of years now. We have rules. roles and societally acceptable behavior. This I feel is part of what I call the Pink Floyd syndrome( comfortably numb).
This same intentionality I fell gets brought into the development of meditation, the desire to be comfortably numb, to not have to feel and be with the wild chaos that life is. When I have heard from teachers, friends the legends of great Dhamma teachers there is a wildness to them. Great stillness yet an ability to manifest not limited by the social constraints and shame that society, religions, cultures put upon us.
I notice in myself that as I grow I also feel more wild, fearless. Will express myself and sometimes that may shock others, not to say I should not question my behavior if it is felt to be extreme, but sometimes I use language that people think is coarse or rude. My use of language is used to express the feeling tone /emotion that is being expressed. What I noticed in my upbringing and watching myself with my kids, and observing parents out and about. The desire to control our kids because they are to wild for our sensory processing. They may be too loud, to into others space/your space. There can be a sense of overwhelm that come with identifying their behavior with oneself then how we imagine others thinking of them/me. I find my own wildness being allowed and allowing my children to be themselves is interconnected.
What stops me being alive, vital and wild. To me, this is an attachment to rights and rituals. The belief if I act, speak in a certain way I will be rewarded with love and acceptance. I learn to suppress those parts of me which are likely to prevent this, this is a natural survival mechanism when we are young and need the protection of the mother/family. A side effect of this is developing negative attention when like myself I felt that trying to fit in just meant I felt like I did not get notice so I begin to do the things that don't fit in with what the family, society like and so get attention in a different way. When I was a monk and consciously holding a monastic training in mind it showed these polarities, the goody-goody and rebellious ( in it negative form, I feel that awakening to life as it is the most rebellious process one can undertake). These beliefs about how we should be are what fuels the hindrances(sensory desire, ill-will, sloth and torpor, restlessness/worry, and doubt).
So as we meet our experience with gentleness/care and permission, the stories which have been created about our self's we become familiar with these relationships between the experience arising now, the stories created in the past arising now dependent on being triggered by the familiarity of the sensory experience. As we become familiar with our stories and the reactivity within them to our environments past/present and future we may sense a kind of freedom. This freedom does not always mean that we don't act out of our conditioning, as we see it more as conditioning we are less likely to shame ourselves in relation to our behavior. This lack of shame helps us to see and reflect on the conditioning process, our self-story. In this way, we become more ethical, and we suppress ourselves less, yet with a wise perspective, we can learn to manage certain behaviors which may lead to harm. Mindfulness being the experience of allowing the arising of the present sensory experience, the reactivity to that, which allows a response to arising from being aware of that. What we often mistake is the idea that we can be aware of something before it arises. Conditions arise, we become aware and claim the experience of knowing that which has arisen. So we are always playing catch-up. Mature mindfulness has been built upon the seeds of gently with care catching up with our experience. This maturation of mindfulness built upon the Brahma vihara's( gentleness/care, compassion/permission, Joy in experiencing, and equanimity) leads us gently into the deep rest of mature Samadhi, a calm and attunement to life.
Mature Samadhi = wild joy/stillness.
Sunday, 23 April 2017
Tuesday, 18 April 2017
Stablising the four elements
In Buddhism, we sometimes talk about practice in regards to the four elements earth, water, fire and air and occasionally we speak of space and consciousness elements.
Earth is the element of density, thoughts, and feeling that feels heavy, depression could be thought of as having been affected by the earth element. The weight of the body and bones is an obvious earth experience, we are often directed to the body to help ground us so we don't get carried away with certain thoughts and feelings. The Buddha asked the earth to witness and aid him seeing clearly the effects of Mara.
Water gives shape to things, as again with the bodily shapes are very much dependent on the fluids held inside by the skin. The shape of the body changes as the fluids drain away and dry up. Thoughts can be fluid in their ability to constantly change form, moving from one theme to another.
Fire gives us warmth and coolness, we can experience this by observing our body temperature and the bodies contact with the weather. We may notice in thoughts of anger, rage or aversion.
Air is movement, the flow of blood, the vibration of the breath, the movement of the body, the chatter of our thoughts.
Depending on how we pay attention to things depends on how in balance these elements are. This is how samadhi matures. As we gently pay attention to our experience the sense of gentleness/care and permission allows the elements to find balance. As the elements begin to settle we begin to become aware of the element of space and consciousness. Now that space is emerging it gives consciousness the ability to develop insight into the dynamics of the four elements earth, water, fire, and air. As space becomes more dominant we begin to feel equanimous not so caught up in the play and drama of earth, water, fire, and air.
Space begins to give a sense of being infinite, vast, everything seems to be within you. With this the sense of consciousness to seems to become infinite and vast, as a sense of being the one who knows arises. This arises with taking the elemental experience personally, as mine. When this sense of self-falls away when consciousness rests into itself, knowing nothing, unaware of itself. With the reappearing of selfing process after this, the ability to perceive the perception of nothingness, this is in relation to the loss of self and is dependent upon consciousness having rested into its self, as we become familiar with this perception it opens up into the sense of neither perceiving or not perceiving. A deep sense of not knowing balanced with equanimity, this aids release of subtle views.
When the elemental play is cleaned of the ignorance of self-ing the experience, it flows as it is:)
Earth is the element of density, thoughts, and feeling that feels heavy, depression could be thought of as having been affected by the earth element. The weight of the body and bones is an obvious earth experience, we are often directed to the body to help ground us so we don't get carried away with certain thoughts and feelings. The Buddha asked the earth to witness and aid him seeing clearly the effects of Mara.
Water gives shape to things, as again with the bodily shapes are very much dependent on the fluids held inside by the skin. The shape of the body changes as the fluids drain away and dry up. Thoughts can be fluid in their ability to constantly change form, moving from one theme to another.
Fire gives us warmth and coolness, we can experience this by observing our body temperature and the bodies contact with the weather. We may notice in thoughts of anger, rage or aversion.
Air is movement, the flow of blood, the vibration of the breath, the movement of the body, the chatter of our thoughts.
Depending on how we pay attention to things depends on how in balance these elements are. This is how samadhi matures. As we gently pay attention to our experience the sense of gentleness/care and permission allows the elements to find balance. As the elements begin to settle we begin to become aware of the element of space and consciousness. Now that space is emerging it gives consciousness the ability to develop insight into the dynamics of the four elements earth, water, fire, and air. As space becomes more dominant we begin to feel equanimous not so caught up in the play and drama of earth, water, fire, and air.
Space begins to give a sense of being infinite, vast, everything seems to be within you. With this the sense of consciousness to seems to become infinite and vast, as a sense of being the one who knows arises. This arises with taking the elemental experience personally, as mine. When this sense of self-falls away when consciousness rests into itself, knowing nothing, unaware of itself. With the reappearing of selfing process after this, the ability to perceive the perception of nothingness, this is in relation to the loss of self and is dependent upon consciousness having rested into its self, as we become familiar with this perception it opens up into the sense of neither perceiving or not perceiving. A deep sense of not knowing balanced with equanimity, this aids release of subtle views.
When the elemental play is cleaned of the ignorance of self-ing the experience, it flows as it is:)
Monday, 3 April 2017
Foundations for a better world
In meditation, we often hear about the 5 hindrances. These are the reactivities to what is arising in our experience. These are traditionally called sensory desire, ill-will, sloth and torpor, restlessness and worry and doubt. These are relational quality's that engage the objects arising in what we like to think of as our awareness. Sensory desire is the desire for particular sensory objects, ill will is an aversion or hatred towards certain sensory experience, sloth and torpor is a lack of engagement with what is happening, restlessness and worry is an over-engagement with what is happening and doubt is the sense of not knowing how to be with a certain sensory experience. So these probably sound quite familiar as these do not just arise in meditation these are the aspects of our ability to relate that tend to lead towards dysfunction in any relationship be it meditation or family, intimate relationships, friends, etc.
The process of meditation is the getting to know these intimately, understand their triggers. Rather than engaging the hindrances with the hindrances which are often how we go about trying to correct these relational issues we intend to be gentle, caring and give them permission to be. It is the process of being your own therapist in that you gently allow what is arising. Whatever is arising has already arisen, we notice it and then judge its value after it has already arisen. These hindrances are very much tied to how we have been taught to relate to ourselves from our family/cultural and religious environment. We have the ego which is our basic organizational app and then there is the organizational app of our family/cultural and religious environment, the superego. In meditation, we are taking the time to become very familiar with this dynamic of ego/superego. Taking the time to gently digest it, taste its textures. We become aware of the many levels that we have got ourselves tangled up in the views and opinions, how we try to defend our sense of value either by going along with the views or opinions of the environment or rebelling if they are not satisfying or fitting to our values.
What often happens is we notice our faulty expressions but our virtues can often go unnoticed. When we approach meditation from the place of meeting and becoming familiar rather than taking a position before we give ourselves the time and space to actually notice and be nourished by our virtues. We can think of our virtues simply as the opposite of the hindrances. Equanimity, gentleness and care, attentiveness, calm and composure and wisdom. So in this approach as taught by Jason Siff that I have been working with over these past 5years, and I express as my own understanding of this is how it has unfolded for me. The intention to meditate is the meditation, this intention is gentle and caring, the experience has permission to unfold as it wishes, if this becomes too much we are able to ground ourselves with the contact of our hands touching, the contact with the ground the breath etc. We may drift into habitual meditation patterns conditioned from previous practices, that is okay. By not intending to follow the practice we may become aware of the intentions that the practice was built upon. I know for myself my meditation practice had been built upon an aversion to my experience, to my sense of self, I was wanting to be other than this. As we slowly digest our internal relationships to ourselves and the world that we see, we begin to mature into a gentleness, compassion, joy, and equanimity. With this sense of maturing there is a natural understanding of ourselves as a story and our part in a larger story. This freedom of seeing the story, gives us the ability to build a new world built upon virtue, where we through compassion of how the structures of the different stories from the beginning of time when not seen clearly with awareness create conflict and judgment, the stories become positions we take and defend instead of being seen as conditioning blocks based upon ignorance of the conditioning process.
This new world built upon understanding there is suffering, and when suffering is not understood there is dysfunction. We intend to meet experience with gentleness and care, this intention matures as it grows to understand the conditioning process until it matures into equanimity. This gentleness and care becomes the ground for our relationship to ourselves and the environment that we live in, as we meet ourselves and the world with gentleness and care our experience become mindful, when this mindfulness is mature and able to allow experience it matures into a calm and composure with all that arises, this gives rise for the potential to notice when we are self-ing and not self-ing the experience. This can give rise to a deep peace and freedom. When this freedom matures self and not-self are seen as conditions. Position-less living unfolds.
This is a humbling path, as we take a close look at ourselves and accept our imperfections. May all beings mature and find freedom.
The process of meditation is the getting to know these intimately, understand their triggers. Rather than engaging the hindrances with the hindrances which are often how we go about trying to correct these relational issues we intend to be gentle, caring and give them permission to be. It is the process of being your own therapist in that you gently allow what is arising. Whatever is arising has already arisen, we notice it and then judge its value after it has already arisen. These hindrances are very much tied to how we have been taught to relate to ourselves from our family/cultural and religious environment. We have the ego which is our basic organizational app and then there is the organizational app of our family/cultural and religious environment, the superego. In meditation, we are taking the time to become very familiar with this dynamic of ego/superego. Taking the time to gently digest it, taste its textures. We become aware of the many levels that we have got ourselves tangled up in the views and opinions, how we try to defend our sense of value either by going along with the views or opinions of the environment or rebelling if they are not satisfying or fitting to our values.
What often happens is we notice our faulty expressions but our virtues can often go unnoticed. When we approach meditation from the place of meeting and becoming familiar rather than taking a position before we give ourselves the time and space to actually notice and be nourished by our virtues. We can think of our virtues simply as the opposite of the hindrances. Equanimity, gentleness and care, attentiveness, calm and composure and wisdom. So in this approach as taught by Jason Siff that I have been working with over these past 5years, and I express as my own understanding of this is how it has unfolded for me. The intention to meditate is the meditation, this intention is gentle and caring, the experience has permission to unfold as it wishes, if this becomes too much we are able to ground ourselves with the contact of our hands touching, the contact with the ground the breath etc. We may drift into habitual meditation patterns conditioned from previous practices, that is okay. By not intending to follow the practice we may become aware of the intentions that the practice was built upon. I know for myself my meditation practice had been built upon an aversion to my experience, to my sense of self, I was wanting to be other than this. As we slowly digest our internal relationships to ourselves and the world that we see, we begin to mature into a gentleness, compassion, joy, and equanimity. With this sense of maturing there is a natural understanding of ourselves as a story and our part in a larger story. This freedom of seeing the story, gives us the ability to build a new world built upon virtue, where we through compassion of how the structures of the different stories from the beginning of time when not seen clearly with awareness create conflict and judgment, the stories become positions we take and defend instead of being seen as conditioning blocks based upon ignorance of the conditioning process.
This new world built upon understanding there is suffering, and when suffering is not understood there is dysfunction. We intend to meet experience with gentleness and care, this intention matures as it grows to understand the conditioning process until it matures into equanimity. This gentleness and care becomes the ground for our relationship to ourselves and the environment that we live in, as we meet ourselves and the world with gentleness and care our experience become mindful, when this mindfulness is mature and able to allow experience it matures into a calm and composure with all that arises, this gives rise for the potential to notice when we are self-ing and not self-ing the experience. This can give rise to a deep peace and freedom. When this freedom matures self and not-self are seen as conditions. Position-less living unfolds.
This is a humbling path, as we take a close look at ourselves and accept our imperfections. May all beings mature and find freedom.
Friday, 10 March 2017
Monastic training, a training in living.
I lived in a Buddhist monastery for most of my twenties, it was an amazing time. It was my initiation into my humanity. While in the monastery and since leaving I have heard many miss understandings of what the monastic training is. So I thought I would share my experience and how my own view and perspectives changed as I grew up with the robe and without them.
I had entered the monastery at the same time as giving up drugs and alcohol, I had issues with boundaries( would take other people's stuff).This had lead to me not being very happy with the experience of being me. The monastery was a simple place, not much to stimulate the senses apart from Dhamma talks and books on Dhamma. There were people who were intending to be kind and seemed genuinely interested in me and my experience. Living within the monastery meant living by the 8 precepts. These are to abstain from harming/ killing others, abstain from stealing, abstain from acting out of sexual desire, abstain from lying, abstain from intoxicants, abstain from eating in the afternoon, abstain from entertainment and sleeping too much.
When we reflect and notice that most of the time we tend to be good wholesome humans these precepts are not that threatening. What they helped me do was to begin to align my energies, I began to feel directly my unwholesome tendencies that would be harmful to myself and others, my views and reactions matured into views that were more responsive to myself and my environment. They also helped to highlight the movement of my mind towards distraction due to not understanding my sensory experience. It was like living is a house of mirrors where I was developing the ability to reflect on my intentionality. I then took the ten precepts, then the 227.
The precepts which some, if you read their description in the books, seemed outdated, if I reflected upon the intention of the training rule it made sense. The training was creating a framework to investigate intentionality without being caught up in the complexity of jobs, sexual relationship and whatever else manifests. It was not a denial of the world it was an intimate connection to our relationship to this world. This is my sense of the goal of the training was to allow awareness to mature into the depths of this human being, as wisdom grows into the conditionality of the body/mind, freedom naturally arises. The training is like a picture frame that highlights the picture of life.
As human beings, we have agenda's these are conditioned by the needs/desires that arise due to the body/mind. So these agenda's taint how we see things. This is the same with the monastic training, some people will feel the need to rebel, some will do their best to be the good child to get praise from their projected mother/father figures. Our psychologies are complex, making our views and opinions complicated. They need to be questioned. It does not mean you do not question the training. In this day and age, it is time to have equality between men and women in the monasteries. This I feel comes down to an attachment to tradition, and the complexity of male/female relationships. From what I witnessed I feel a lot of monastic men lack the understanding and wisdom around sexuality and the conditioning process which is natural and needs to be understood not hidden from, shamed etc. Those senior monks that have opened to and understand this are the only true men I have met. This is a complicated area for men in or out of monastic life.
For me, the monastic training was a framework that reflected back to me my goodness, and highlighted my unwholesome areas, helping me to contain and develop awareness around these behaviors. This leads to the condition of trusting oneself, when we trust our self there is kindness, compassion present. This becomes the ground for a mature mindfulness to arise, which leads to letting go, this leads to joy, enjoyment of living and a natural unforced samadhi.
For me, I came to a point as I grew, that areas of my life that I had not explored due to my own psychological issues, which had lead to drugs and alcohol abuse. My low self-esteem, self-hatred had lessened to a point that I was feeling the need to explore my human life. The monastic life had given my life back to me. Since leaving the robes which were almost 15years ago I still feel the powerful conditions the training had established. A foundation in an awareness that senses a flexible organic ethic in each context I am in, which comes from a trust, a compassion that arises from learning to rest upon the groundless ground of life, watching the conditioned self-grasp for control. Becoming familiar with the reactivity that arises when we touch the groundless ground, being gentle and caring towards this reactivity until the reactivity is known and there is a settling down.
My training now is being a dad and a husband. As with the monastic training, the kids reflect back to me my intentions. They show me that as a human being I have needs and desires. I respond to these with kindness and care, giving them permission to be here. This means I have moments of grumpiness as I catch up with the reactivity to my not being able to be selfish. What this does is help me to actually share my life and live life rather than have my own precious special experience. This I noticed a quality in the senior monks that I respected, their ability to create a space for another human to be present. Being a parent is a very flexible experience compare to the relative protection of the monastery, If you can be aware of intention in either context and let life live you, then freedom will naturally arise.
I had entered the monastery at the same time as giving up drugs and alcohol, I had issues with boundaries( would take other people's stuff).This had lead to me not being very happy with the experience of being me. The monastery was a simple place, not much to stimulate the senses apart from Dhamma talks and books on Dhamma. There were people who were intending to be kind and seemed genuinely interested in me and my experience. Living within the monastery meant living by the 8 precepts. These are to abstain from harming/ killing others, abstain from stealing, abstain from acting out of sexual desire, abstain from lying, abstain from intoxicants, abstain from eating in the afternoon, abstain from entertainment and sleeping too much.
When we reflect and notice that most of the time we tend to be good wholesome humans these precepts are not that threatening. What they helped me do was to begin to align my energies, I began to feel directly my unwholesome tendencies that would be harmful to myself and others, my views and reactions matured into views that were more responsive to myself and my environment. They also helped to highlight the movement of my mind towards distraction due to not understanding my sensory experience. It was like living is a house of mirrors where I was developing the ability to reflect on my intentionality. I then took the ten precepts, then the 227.
The precepts which some, if you read their description in the books, seemed outdated, if I reflected upon the intention of the training rule it made sense. The training was creating a framework to investigate intentionality without being caught up in the complexity of jobs, sexual relationship and whatever else manifests. It was not a denial of the world it was an intimate connection to our relationship to this world. This is my sense of the goal of the training was to allow awareness to mature into the depths of this human being, as wisdom grows into the conditionality of the body/mind, freedom naturally arises. The training is like a picture frame that highlights the picture of life.
As human beings, we have agenda's these are conditioned by the needs/desires that arise due to the body/mind. So these agenda's taint how we see things. This is the same with the monastic training, some people will feel the need to rebel, some will do their best to be the good child to get praise from their projected mother/father figures. Our psychologies are complex, making our views and opinions complicated. They need to be questioned. It does not mean you do not question the training. In this day and age, it is time to have equality between men and women in the monasteries. This I feel comes down to an attachment to tradition, and the complexity of male/female relationships. From what I witnessed I feel a lot of monastic men lack the understanding and wisdom around sexuality and the conditioning process which is natural and needs to be understood not hidden from, shamed etc. Those senior monks that have opened to and understand this are the only true men I have met. This is a complicated area for men in or out of monastic life.
For me, the monastic training was a framework that reflected back to me my goodness, and highlighted my unwholesome areas, helping me to contain and develop awareness around these behaviors. This leads to the condition of trusting oneself, when we trust our self there is kindness, compassion present. This becomes the ground for a mature mindfulness to arise, which leads to letting go, this leads to joy, enjoyment of living and a natural unforced samadhi.
For me, I came to a point as I grew, that areas of my life that I had not explored due to my own psychological issues, which had lead to drugs and alcohol abuse. My low self-esteem, self-hatred had lessened to a point that I was feeling the need to explore my human life. The monastic life had given my life back to me. Since leaving the robes which were almost 15years ago I still feel the powerful conditions the training had established. A foundation in an awareness that senses a flexible organic ethic in each context I am in, which comes from a trust, a compassion that arises from learning to rest upon the groundless ground of life, watching the conditioned self-grasp for control. Becoming familiar with the reactivity that arises when we touch the groundless ground, being gentle and caring towards this reactivity until the reactivity is known and there is a settling down.
My training now is being a dad and a husband. As with the monastic training, the kids reflect back to me my intentions. They show me that as a human being I have needs and desires. I respond to these with kindness and care, giving them permission to be here. This means I have moments of grumpiness as I catch up with the reactivity to my not being able to be selfish. What this does is help me to actually share my life and live life rather than have my own precious special experience. This I noticed a quality in the senior monks that I respected, their ability to create a space for another human to be present. Being a parent is a very flexible experience compare to the relative protection of the monastery, If you can be aware of intention in either context and let life live you, then freedom will naturally arise.
Thursday, 9 March 2017
Mature effort
The mature effort we find after the mature speech, mature action, and mature livelihood in the classical description of the eightfold path. This to me makes sense as I like to perceive the path as one of maturation each aspect growing out of the previous aspects. The path begins with the corrected view that there is suffering we step upon the path, where we set up a corrected intention. This being gentleness and care towards our experience, this intention as it continues to be corrected and matures leads on to compassion, joy, and equanimity. This intention feeds into the quality of our speech, action, and choice of livelihood. It is a kind of sensitizing to ourselves and our environments. We become aware of our own vulnerability and our desire not to feel pain, and wanting pleasure.
So not wanting to feel pain and desiring pleasure is the ground for Mature effort to arise. It is in this process of being aware of our vulnerability, the push and pull of pleasure and pain and in its extreme version fight and flight mode. This maturing, being with and understanding our vulnerability, becoming aware of our stories which have grown out of the unstable ground of the human sensory world. We begin to stabilize into a mature effort, it is a sense of becoming stable and not being pushed around by the polarities of life. This is the ground for mature mindfulness to arise, a sense of being with the whole of the experience. It is the ground for equanimity to grow and mature.
A mature effort is not so much a doing as learning to be with experience and become intimate with our reactivity. As we mature in relation to becoming familiar with the reactivity. This steadiness of being with leads on to a mature skillful mindfulness arising, which leads on to a mature samadhi, one that is not efforted and based on an object, which arises from wisdom in relation to our reactivity and our freedom from reactivity, which gives rise to joy.
*By corrected I mean through being with our experience our views begin to attune to our direct experience, as our view becomes corrected the other aspects of the path begin to mature from an ignorant position towards one of wisdom.
So not wanting to feel pain and desiring pleasure is the ground for Mature effort to arise. It is in this process of being aware of our vulnerability, the push and pull of pleasure and pain and in its extreme version fight and flight mode. This maturing, being with and understanding our vulnerability, becoming aware of our stories which have grown out of the unstable ground of the human sensory world. We begin to stabilize into a mature effort, it is a sense of becoming stable and not being pushed around by the polarities of life. This is the ground for mature mindfulness to arise, a sense of being with the whole of the experience. It is the ground for equanimity to grow and mature.
A mature effort is not so much a doing as learning to be with experience and become intimate with our reactivity. As we mature in relation to becoming familiar with the reactivity. This steadiness of being with leads on to a mature skillful mindfulness arising, which leads on to a mature samadhi, one that is not efforted and based on an object, which arises from wisdom in relation to our reactivity and our freedom from reactivity, which gives rise to joy.
*By corrected I mean through being with our experience our views begin to attune to our direct experience, as our view becomes corrected the other aspects of the path begin to mature from an ignorant position towards one of wisdom.
Wednesday, 18 January 2017
Noble truths as a path of maturation.
I will reflect here on the Four Noble Truths as a process of maturation. I will touch on how I see them interlinking with the maturation process of the Bramha vihara's, Jhana's and Nana's. I am seeing the path as a revelation, with each revelation being an aspect of the path which the next aspect builds upon.
The first Noble truth often explained "there is suffering".This is usually what draws us to the dhamma, this feeling of suffering, incompleteness, unsatisfactory sense of life. As if we have built a house on dodgy foundations, as we walk around the house we get this insecure feeling of the house moving beneath us.
Many approaches to meditation start out with relating to this experience in a way to calm it. What can happen with this is we end up getting caught up in the technique and overlook the conditions which are creating this wobbly foundation. This is very personal as for some keeping the mind on a technique and managing to ignore the conditions of the body and mind seems like an impossible task.So I will speak from my own understanding from my practice or else I am just making assumptions. Myself I was able to become very focused on the breathing process.My mind would lock in and shut as much of the experience I could out initially, this was not healthy. In reflection, the only benefit this gave me was some altered states which kept me interested in the practice and gave me some self-value for experiencing some of the sideshow glam which comes with meditation. This was not how I was taught mindfulness of breathing this is how my agenda not to feel heard it. As I grew out of this phase I became aware it took a tremendous amount of energy to maintain this suppression of life. I began to allow more of my experience into my awareness.Now, meeting this unsatisfactory experience, I sit with a gentle intention/attention to my experience. Notice my reactivity to my present state of unsatisfactorily-ness. This reactivity I would say is the hindrances(sense desire/ill will/sloth and torpor/restlessness and doubt). I find I have to soften my attention to allow these reactions to be present. This allows me to see what is arising and the reactivity to it. I have found this begins to develop a holistic view of this being I am. Maturing through this understanding of "there is suffering" I notice that what has matured is the quality of my intention/attitude, the kindness/gentleness and care is beginning to stabilize. Metta has become established, What I have also noticed is the hindrances are weakened through the process of becoming familiar with them, the mind has become stabilized and absorbed in this process. It has become absorbed in the stream of arising and passing. Dare I call this Jhana. Also as I reflect on this I notice that the first four of the Insight knowledge have also been maturing in this process of slow-cooking with gentleness.(Insight knowledges are the 16 nana's found in the Burmese Vipassana and in the Vissudi Magga). Brahma Vihara's are the 4 boundless states or holding fields these are related to the element of space, Metta is kindness/gentleness and care. Karuna is compassion/permission. Mudita is joy arising from release/ appreciation of creativity. Uppeka is equanimity based upon wisdom/positionless in that it does not belong to a centralizing agent, yet is aware of agents arising dependent on conditions.
As we rest here with gentleness/kindness and care. A strength of stability and absorption with this arising, staying and passing away of experience we begin to sense the groundlessness of this experience. This is where we begin to notice the cause of this suffering. Our ignorance of this groundless state, our reactivity arises out of this not knowing. As we rest here the ego/self-centeredness begins to experience horror and fears in relation to becoming aware of its own impermanence. These seem to fall in line with the different evolutionary developments of the brain, we are traveling in time through the evolutionary processes of the brain and learning to stabilize awareness in these different phases. We begin to rest with and understand this primal sense of vulnerability. We begin to notice our sentience and our lack of understanding in regards to it, causes our suffering to arise.In this process, our sense of kindness/gentleness and care matures into a form of compassion, An understanding of as I suffer so do others.Then as we mature more we feel a sense of freedom from these conditioning factors, we experience joy in regards to feeling free, we experience joy and appreciation in regards to this chaotic creative process we call life, we sense beauty and connection which balances the suffering. In a sense, we are maturing into pure creativity.The strength of our absorption has strengthened as the hindrances are known from a deeper level. In terms of the insight knowledge, we have moved through the next 7. We are resting in a position-less equanimity or drifting in and out of it depending on the supporting conditions. The mind is mature and ripening. I have in talks, and previous blog entry called this the big self.
To have arrived here, we may have taken years of being with our process. Maturing through our kamma. We can not set a time for how long it will take to unfold. We just have to walk into the unknowing.
Nirodha, cessation, whatever we what to call the third truth. This experience of cessation also matures over time so we may not be too clear what actually happened at first. Yet as we mature and we begin to see the conditioning process in more detail. At first, an experience of cessation which gives rise to the perception of not-self can leave us believing not-self and self-are separate yet that is a perception built upon the initial strength of cessation compared to our normal experience of self. As time goes on and the cessation experience becomes familiar these perceptions begin to integrate.So a movement from Nibbana and Samsara being separate to an integrated perception of being selfless/yet functional in the world.
The eightfold path which we probably have been adhering to, to differing degrees become much clearer now. Before cessation it was a map, discovered by someone else which has helped us to monitor our manifestation in the world, helping us to be aware of ourselves and adjust our behavior and develop a deepening sense of self-awareness. What happens now is this path is revealed directly to you as a revelation. This releases attachment to the concept of "path". The perceptions and insights which have arisen walking the conceptual path are now integrated into a holistic view.
I feel there are two aspects of each path link. It is immature and mature. So we start the path with an immature view or little wisdom. As we start out with an awareness of life being unsatisfactory, by keeping this in mind it keeps our practice on the task of understanding suffering. This keeps us on track about what we are doing especially as we begin to mature and feel a degree of ease we may become complacent as the suffering has toned down.
The intention, this to me is basically the basis for the Brahma vihara's, We start out with intending care/kindness and gentleness and these mature as our direct experience matures. Maturing into compassion/ permission this leads on to joy as a condition of release, and an appreciation of the beauty of chaos. this then matures into a positionless equanimity.
Developing mature speech/action and livelihood then grow out of the Bramha vihara's, maturing in relation to the evolution of the Bramha viharas. In this way the different aspects of the path are seen to be maturing out of the previous aspect, this also creates a feedback loop in which each aspect is helping the other to mature and integrate. This maturing in wholesomeness means that we become less affected by the worldly winds. Gain/loss, praise/blame,fame /disrepute and pleasure and pain. We are able to rest with our experience with ease.
This sense of ease with our experience, this sense of stabilization is a mature mindfulness, it is built upon equanimity/wisdom this is Samma Sati. This is built upon the previous aspect of the path maturing. Mature mindfulness is built upon many factors it is something that evolves. It is like developing your veggie patch, you have to work on developing a decent soil, then the vegetables, fruits etc will mature into wholesome life supporting food.
This then leads on to a natural deepening of composure, our energies gather and settle. The absence of the hindrances. We rest is the pure creativity/chaos as order. This feeds back round into mature view/vision.
The way in which we can change the world is by the maturing of the path, each of us that walks forward are the butterfly wings creating the storm of wholesome change.
Take care be well flutter those wings of wholesomeness.
The first Noble truth often explained "there is suffering".This is usually what draws us to the dhamma, this feeling of suffering, incompleteness, unsatisfactory sense of life. As if we have built a house on dodgy foundations, as we walk around the house we get this insecure feeling of the house moving beneath us.
Many approaches to meditation start out with relating to this experience in a way to calm it. What can happen with this is we end up getting caught up in the technique and overlook the conditions which are creating this wobbly foundation. This is very personal as for some keeping the mind on a technique and managing to ignore the conditions of the body and mind seems like an impossible task.So I will speak from my own understanding from my practice or else I am just making assumptions. Myself I was able to become very focused on the breathing process.My mind would lock in and shut as much of the experience I could out initially, this was not healthy. In reflection, the only benefit this gave me was some altered states which kept me interested in the practice and gave me some self-value for experiencing some of the sideshow glam which comes with meditation. This was not how I was taught mindfulness of breathing this is how my agenda not to feel heard it. As I grew out of this phase I became aware it took a tremendous amount of energy to maintain this suppression of life. I began to allow more of my experience into my awareness.Now, meeting this unsatisfactory experience, I sit with a gentle intention/attention to my experience. Notice my reactivity to my present state of unsatisfactorily-ness. This reactivity I would say is the hindrances(sense desire/ill will/sloth and torpor/restlessness and doubt). I find I have to soften my attention to allow these reactions to be present. This allows me to see what is arising and the reactivity to it. I have found this begins to develop a holistic view of this being I am. Maturing through this understanding of "there is suffering" I notice that what has matured is the quality of my intention/attitude, the kindness/gentleness and care is beginning to stabilize. Metta has become established, What I have also noticed is the hindrances are weakened through the process of becoming familiar with them, the mind has become stabilized and absorbed in this process. It has become absorbed in the stream of arising and passing. Dare I call this Jhana. Also as I reflect on this I notice that the first four of the Insight knowledge have also been maturing in this process of slow-cooking with gentleness.(Insight knowledges are the 16 nana's found in the Burmese Vipassana and in the Vissudi Magga). Brahma Vihara's are the 4 boundless states or holding fields these are related to the element of space, Metta is kindness/gentleness and care. Karuna is compassion/permission. Mudita is joy arising from release/ appreciation of creativity. Uppeka is equanimity based upon wisdom/positionless in that it does not belong to a centralizing agent, yet is aware of agents arising dependent on conditions.
As we rest here with gentleness/kindness and care. A strength of stability and absorption with this arising, staying and passing away of experience we begin to sense the groundlessness of this experience. This is where we begin to notice the cause of this suffering. Our ignorance of this groundless state, our reactivity arises out of this not knowing. As we rest here the ego/self-centeredness begins to experience horror and fears in relation to becoming aware of its own impermanence. These seem to fall in line with the different evolutionary developments of the brain, we are traveling in time through the evolutionary processes of the brain and learning to stabilize awareness in these different phases. We begin to rest with and understand this primal sense of vulnerability. We begin to notice our sentience and our lack of understanding in regards to it, causes our suffering to arise.In this process, our sense of kindness/gentleness and care matures into a form of compassion, An understanding of as I suffer so do others.Then as we mature more we feel a sense of freedom from these conditioning factors, we experience joy in regards to feeling free, we experience joy and appreciation in regards to this chaotic creative process we call life, we sense beauty and connection which balances the suffering. In a sense, we are maturing into pure creativity.The strength of our absorption has strengthened as the hindrances are known from a deeper level. In terms of the insight knowledge, we have moved through the next 7. We are resting in a position-less equanimity or drifting in and out of it depending on the supporting conditions. The mind is mature and ripening. I have in talks, and previous blog entry called this the big self.
To have arrived here, we may have taken years of being with our process. Maturing through our kamma. We can not set a time for how long it will take to unfold. We just have to walk into the unknowing.
Nirodha, cessation, whatever we what to call the third truth. This experience of cessation also matures over time so we may not be too clear what actually happened at first. Yet as we mature and we begin to see the conditioning process in more detail. At first, an experience of cessation which gives rise to the perception of not-self can leave us believing not-self and self-are separate yet that is a perception built upon the initial strength of cessation compared to our normal experience of self. As time goes on and the cessation experience becomes familiar these perceptions begin to integrate.So a movement from Nibbana and Samsara being separate to an integrated perception of being selfless/yet functional in the world.
The eightfold path which we probably have been adhering to, to differing degrees become much clearer now. Before cessation it was a map, discovered by someone else which has helped us to monitor our manifestation in the world, helping us to be aware of ourselves and adjust our behavior and develop a deepening sense of self-awareness. What happens now is this path is revealed directly to you as a revelation. This releases attachment to the concept of "path". The perceptions and insights which have arisen walking the conceptual path are now integrated into a holistic view.
I feel there are two aspects of each path link. It is immature and mature. So we start the path with an immature view or little wisdom. As we start out with an awareness of life being unsatisfactory, by keeping this in mind it keeps our practice on the task of understanding suffering. This keeps us on track about what we are doing especially as we begin to mature and feel a degree of ease we may become complacent as the suffering has toned down.
The intention, this to me is basically the basis for the Brahma vihara's, We start out with intending care/kindness and gentleness and these mature as our direct experience matures. Maturing into compassion/ permission this leads on to joy as a condition of release, and an appreciation of the beauty of chaos. this then matures into a positionless equanimity.
Developing mature speech/action and livelihood then grow out of the Bramha vihara's, maturing in relation to the evolution of the Bramha viharas. In this way the different aspects of the path are seen to be maturing out of the previous aspect, this also creates a feedback loop in which each aspect is helping the other to mature and integrate. This maturing in wholesomeness means that we become less affected by the worldly winds. Gain/loss, praise/blame,fame /disrepute and pleasure and pain. We are able to rest with our experience with ease.
This sense of ease with our experience, this sense of stabilization is a mature mindfulness, it is built upon equanimity/wisdom this is Samma Sati. This is built upon the previous aspect of the path maturing. Mature mindfulness is built upon many factors it is something that evolves. It is like developing your veggie patch, you have to work on developing a decent soil, then the vegetables, fruits etc will mature into wholesome life supporting food.
This then leads on to a natural deepening of composure, our energies gather and settle. The absence of the hindrances. We rest is the pure creativity/chaos as order. This feeds back round into mature view/vision.
The way in which we can change the world is by the maturing of the path, each of us that walks forward are the butterfly wings creating the storm of wholesome change.
Take care be well flutter those wings of wholesomeness.
Sunday, 1 January 2017
An Okay new moment(or happy new year)
Here we are in another year.
For Me, as I reflect upon my practice, I can judge myself, imagine strategies to work on the areas of myself that I judge as not being good enough. So firstly I meet these thoughts with care and attention, sensing the content of them. Becoming familiar with these ideas of being a particular self. Rather than making rash judgments about the process called me, I notice how I am with these conditions arising.
How am I meeting my experience?I have found as I find my practice begins to mature my sense of being mindful is less rigid and now flows more naturally with my experience. Less taking a position against my experience, as there are fewer view's about how I should be, who I think I am, what is practice.So for Me, each moment I meet my experience which is arising is the establishment of my resolution. Those who have heard me talk will know my instructions. The intention to be mindful/meditate is the meditation. Being gentle in regards to what is arising/hanging around and passing on in our experience.As this gentleness/care stabilizes we are able to meet the resistances that arise in relation to what is arising.This process I would call Metta.
This sense of caring embrace of the experience leads on as it matures in the moment to a sense of permission, we begin to stabilize with the experience arising and begin to notice our sense of self-arising and the resistances that arise in relation to this sense of self. I call this the allowing of the self-ing process, With this awareness, we begin to see the conditioning factors to our reactivity we find ourselves becoming less judgemental of ourselves and others(Karuna).
With the stabilisation of this quality of care and permission the experience begins to unfold, the resistances are falling away, A sense of joy and freedom begins to arise conditioned by the release of attachment to our self-constructs as we become familiar with our thoughts, feeling and the combination of our experiences that unfolds as our self-story.I would say that this freedom and joy is Mudita. We are able to now enjoy life as it is and feel the freedom of loosening up our self-positioning in regards to life.
As this fluidity of the self of rises to the foreground, equanimity becomes the predominant quality of mind., The mature stabilisation of awareness comes through wisdom, through the process of digesting the experience at a rate that we become familiar with the conditioning factors of the experience and will pass away as new conditions arise to be known.. This process becomes more noticeable as we mature.Notice how there is an aliveness to equanimity which is different to a mind subdued through concentration.
This leads me on to this topic of an integrated practice. I know that to me this idea, of integrating my practice from monastic into lay life etc. I have found as time goes on this question no longer arises. To myself, integrity/honesty built upon gentleness and care towards my experience removes this separation that the idea of integration creates for me.To own my experience without judgment leads to a sense of no one special, not in a negative sense, it is the lack of estimating my experience, trying to decide a value for it. That functional living needs the condition of non-self-positioning so that all forms of self can be allowed. I know I am not there. I notice my familiarity with dysfunction gives rise to functional experiences. My integrity and honesty with myself and others help's support the ground for potential function. Gentleness and care in relation to our experience give's rise to the conditions for a secure attachment to develop, a sense of self-worth that we can step out into the world with the integrity, honesty and a fearlessness.
When I use the word resistances I am talking about sensual desire, ill-will, sloth and torpor, restlessness/anxiety, doubt
May you all be well, may this planetary existence become one of wise coexistence.
For Me, as I reflect upon my practice, I can judge myself, imagine strategies to work on the areas of myself that I judge as not being good enough. So firstly I meet these thoughts with care and attention, sensing the content of them. Becoming familiar with these ideas of being a particular self. Rather than making rash judgments about the process called me, I notice how I am with these conditions arising.
How am I meeting my experience?I have found as I find my practice begins to mature my sense of being mindful is less rigid and now flows more naturally with my experience. Less taking a position against my experience, as there are fewer view's about how I should be, who I think I am, what is practice.So for Me, each moment I meet my experience which is arising is the establishment of my resolution. Those who have heard me talk will know my instructions. The intention to be mindful/meditate is the meditation. Being gentle in regards to what is arising/hanging around and passing on in our experience.As this gentleness/care stabilizes we are able to meet the resistances that arise in relation to what is arising.This process I would call Metta.
This sense of caring embrace of the experience leads on as it matures in the moment to a sense of permission, we begin to stabilize with the experience arising and begin to notice our sense of self-arising and the resistances that arise in relation to this sense of self. I call this the allowing of the self-ing process, With this awareness, we begin to see the conditioning factors to our reactivity we find ourselves becoming less judgemental of ourselves and others(Karuna).
With the stabilisation of this quality of care and permission the experience begins to unfold, the resistances are falling away, A sense of joy and freedom begins to arise conditioned by the release of attachment to our self-constructs as we become familiar with our thoughts, feeling and the combination of our experiences that unfolds as our self-story.I would say that this freedom and joy is Mudita. We are able to now enjoy life as it is and feel the freedom of loosening up our self-positioning in regards to life.
As this fluidity of the self of rises to the foreground, equanimity becomes the predominant quality of mind., The mature stabilisation of awareness comes through wisdom, through the process of digesting the experience at a rate that we become familiar with the conditioning factors of the experience and will pass away as new conditions arise to be known.. This process becomes more noticeable as we mature.Notice how there is an aliveness to equanimity which is different to a mind subdued through concentration.
This leads me on to this topic of an integrated practice. I know that to me this idea, of integrating my practice from monastic into lay life etc. I have found as time goes on this question no longer arises. To myself, integrity/honesty built upon gentleness and care towards my experience removes this separation that the idea of integration creates for me.To own my experience without judgment leads to a sense of no one special, not in a negative sense, it is the lack of estimating my experience, trying to decide a value for it. That functional living needs the condition of non-self-positioning so that all forms of self can be allowed. I know I am not there. I notice my familiarity with dysfunction gives rise to functional experiences. My integrity and honesty with myself and others help's support the ground for potential function. Gentleness and care in relation to our experience give's rise to the conditions for a secure attachment to develop, a sense of self-worth that we can step out into the world with the integrity, honesty and a fearlessness.
When I use the word resistances I am talking about sensual desire, ill-will, sloth and torpor, restlessness/anxiety, doubt
May you all be well, may this planetary existence become one of wise coexistence.
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